Brief Bio.

I am a proud mom of 3 wonderful boys; we have a faithful dog, an arrogant, irritating but lovable feline, and a very skeptical bunny rabbit. We live on the prairie in a heartland USA city, and no, its not just tumbleweeds and cows.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Thanksgiving Cooking Disasters and More...

Ahh the joys of long holiday weekends.  Memories made - in the little things!  Usually, at the time, totally NOT funny.  It started while putting up the Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving.  I want you to take a hard look at this feline.  Doesn't he look evil?
The boys insisted to put the tree up INSTANTLY after the outside lights.  I hadn’t even caught my breath.  I let them go ahead and they had a blast.  Son # 3 was playing his little music blaster streaming Christmas Carols to set the mood.  The dog absolutely LOVED the music and sat next to it wagging his tail.  The cat eyed all that tinsel and sparkly stuff with ravenous, tempted, evil eyes.  We could see that little brain of his, that brain the size of a walnut, was swirling with naughty, evil plots to capture and destroy the largest cat toy he had ever seen.

So the next morning I am awoke to son # 3 shouting “mom!  The cat knocked over the Christmas tree!”.  I roll over moaning to him to just push it back up.  Next I hear him shouting “OOooww!  Mom!  I’m trapped under the tree and it’s scratching my back!”  I moan for son # 1 to get out of bed and go help him.  I figure I might as well give up on sleeping in so get up to start the coffee pot.  Of course the tree is leaning and the cat is hiding.  Both of the boys wake up son #2 and start plotting to form a SWAT team to capture the cat and throw him in the shower as punishment for this heinous crime.  Son # 3 finds a clear plastic tub and is going to put it on top of him and scoot it to the shower to force him in so he won’t get scratched.  Problem is, he goes downstairs to catch cat.  I tell him no way is he going to keep that cat contained under that box all the way up the stairs.  A minute later he is informing us problem solved, we have a shower downstairs, LOL.  As I hear the wonderful sound effects of the shower and a screeching cat, I smile because…I have my cup of coffee in my hand, and nobody can stop me from drinking it!  Not an evil cat, or a crashed Christmas tree, or a SWAT team of 3 little boys!

As the weekend progresses, I invite my wonderful elderly folks over for a Thanksgiving dinner.  My idea of a TG dinner is crock pot turkey breast, prepackaged sweet tater casserole, scalloped taters and rolls.  I even bought a frozen pumpkin pie which I thought would be easy.  Just thaw and eat, right?  Oh no, not for me.  I take it out of the container and see it’s not cooked.  Crap.  I don’t have time to make one now.  So I whip together one of those cheesy boxed cheesecakes and stick it in the fridge.  I figure I’ll go ahead and bake the pie anyhow and roll the dice on whether it’s done in time or not.  You have to bake the stupid thing for an hour. 

We eat a lovely meal and everyone’s happy, the cheesecake is a hit.  J.  Mom and dad leave and the pie is still baking.  The oven beeper goes off ten minutes after they leave.  The kids are in the living room playing a game with the neighbor kids and it’s loud in there, between 5 boys, a dog and a cat, and blaring Christmas music.  I open the oven and the pie is, well – it looks done, maybe a little over done, but so what?  I think, well, we’ll pick off the darkened areas and eat the rest.  So I reach to take it out of the oven and it’s one of those stupid cheap aluminum tins that’s real bendy.  Nice, with a 375 degree pie bending drastically in the middle.  Suddenly the blasted thing flipped, upside down, well, face down – right on the crack between the door and the hot oven, exploding pumpkin pie all over the crack, and oven bottom.  I blurt out at the top of my lungs “Ah, SHIP!”  Only, it wasn’t, “s-h-i-p”.  The kids come around the corner, all scolding me for cussing, and as they look at the disaster in front of me, burst out laughing.  Aw, gads.  Just what I wanted!  ANOTHER MESS TO CLEAN UP!!  And of course, the boys all taunting me about my foul mouth, threatening to make me eat a spoonful of hot sauce.  Yes, the joys of holiday memories…what’s next??  Enjoy the memories everyone!

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